6 more ways to get your sexual life back on track

Sex in monogamous relationships can be bright and fresh, sounds too good to be the truth, right?  However the author of the book «Love worth making. How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship» Stephen Snyder proves the opposite.  He thinks that only our inner sexuality is the key to great sex, so you have to concentrate on it. All the tips from this book are great for any committed heterosexual relationship. Passionate sex that we all want to experience stays in our memory for a long time, but it can be possible only if you understand your own sexual needs. Dr Stephen Snyder’s unique approach has helped over 1,500 individuals and couples master the erotic challenges of long-term relationships. He advocates for sexual narcissism in the bedroom to improve a sexual satisfaction of the couple.

1. Feel your inner sexuality

Really passionate sex makes you feel especially confident in your body and happy from the inside. Most of the books and sex manuals tell you about the right tempo, deep penetration and the right atmosphere. Nice rhythm is better than incoherent frictions, but remember the best sex you had in your life? Was it the best only because of the correct rhythm? Fantasy and atmosphere are also great, but your sexuality demands something new all the time. Your conscience and feelings are involved into the process and all that makes your sex great, not just the way your body moves. All the emotions that you felt at that moment, was it about lust and desire or gratitude? The last feeling is very complex and you can feel it only deep inside.


2. Give some space for the sexual yourself

Your inner sexuality acts according to its own codex of rules, based on selfishness and infantilism. It can’t overcome difficulties that we think are normal. That’s why sex is an experience for every human and can bring us either positive emotions or negative ones.


3. Get rid of stereotypes

Dr Stephen Snyder assures that many patients just don’t realize the problems they have been living for years. Sex should bring pleasure so it implicates bright emotions. From the point of view of your sexual yourself, it means you should feel attractive and like the way you partners looks. Your inner sexuality is as narcissist as little kid. It doesn’t care about asking too much. When you are aroused you don’t want to talk about the shopping list or a plumber’s visit on Saturday. You are waiting to hear how sexy you are and how much your partner wants you. Don’t concentrate on the right technic if you want to become a skilled lover. Moreover, thinking that you shouldn’t be selfish in bed or you won’t be connected with your partner is an absolute nonsense. Erotic selfishness can lead to connection faster than any generous foreplay. If you enjoy being with your partner and take responsibility for your own pleasure, your partner can do the same and can stop thinking about your needs. Stephen Snyder says – I usually ask my patients when you touch your partner do you do that for your own pleasure or for his. They usually choose the last option, but there is no passion in it.  


4. Listen to your desires

It’s so easy to get into a new relationship guided by passion than bring some fire into the stable marriage. When you take off the clothes from your partner for the first time you violate imaginary borders and that’s very arousing. The most common advice in a long-term relationship is start dating again, try new places, kinks, poses. Stephen Snyder believes it’s a symptom of boredom. Once you realize that your inner sexuality acts like a toddler and any toys annoys it in a week term. Best way is let your inner toddler develop its own potential. Dr Snyder recommends to try to be conscience with your desires, monitoring the moment it appears and ends, without worrying about that natural process. Happy couples learn how to enjoy the routine, adding small erotic details, it’s more productive and rewarding.


5. Take responsibility for your own pleasure

In an ideal situation, every person is responsible for his own orgasm and sex drive. The art of the great sex is to express your sexual desires but take into the consideration the fact that your partner is not obliged to satisfy them immediately. This is a great rule and it is related to do everything you want in bed.  Don’t do something just because your partner may like it, find something exciting for both of you.


6. Keep connected

Even in the worse day possible, you should try to find a minute to express your love and affection to each other. When you don’t have the energy for sex, find some strength for tenderness and cuddling. Many couples are trying to escape the arousal, they believe that if you won’t put out a fire, there is no need to light it. You don’t need to have sex every time you get aroused, it just shows you why the person that around you is so important.

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