Why we fall in love?

By nightloveblog on June 19, 2013

At our early childhood (at the age of about three) we fall in love with the parent of opposite sex and our sexual energy is aimed at him/ her. But time comes when a boy sees that his mother likes not only him, but his father too (for example, the parents can get caught by a child during their sexual intercourse). Knowing that the mother doesn’t fully belong to the child, it makes him hate his father. This hatred can be shown differently: physical or verbal abuse, insults, hysteria, suspicion and so on. All children can distract their moms’ attention from the fathers.

A child has ambivalent feelings because hatred to the father is combined with love and respect to him. Sometime later a child identifies himself with the father, in other words he’s trying to take his place.

In psychology they call it Oedipus complex. It was first talked about by Freud. This name comes from the name of tsar Oedipus of an ancient Greek myth, who killed his father and married his mother.

It may sound unusual and even shocking but unconsciously a boy or even a mature man wants to become his mother’s husband (replace his father). Girls or mature women accordingly want to marry their fathers.

Sometimes we wonder why young women get married to men who have a lot of disadvantages: alcohol abuse, humiliation and home abuse, adultery and so on. We look closer at such cases we’ll find out that the same qualities are characteristic of their fathers (it’s not always obvious). In other words, there’s an unconscious desire to marry the father.

Love mechanisms are very diverse and complicated. And sometimes we may only think that we know ourselves.